The events chronicled below may or may not be true. These notes were found in a cave in England under a pile of what appeared to be ancient Fombags. Read at your own risk.
We should have known better than to allow ourselves to be test subjects for the King’s catapults. Fortunately for us, we landed on something very soft. We’re quite hungry, though.
We have been stranded here for nearly one hundred days. There’s very little food to eat, and we’re running out of water. Our only reason for staying hopeful this long has been our friendship with these giant pillow-like creatures. They’ve provided us with comfort and warmth through these cold winter months. They’re also extremely good conversationalists.
We began running out of hope for rescue, but one of the Bean Bag People (as we have come to know them) risked his life to search for a way for us to get home. We haven’t seen him in nearly two weeks. Sir Fombag, I’m praying for your safe return with good news of rescue. Your fellow Bean Bag People are praying along with me.
Our prayers have been answered! It is with a heavy heart, though, that I mourn the loss of the Bean Bag People. In exchange for our rescue, Sir Fombag agreed to give his people up to an eternity of service as bean bag chairs, couches, and pillows. Sir Fombag, I’m eternally grateful to you.